rosary blogging at elowel.org
the weekend 06-18-07 21:41
So I had a great weekend! Well... maybe not totally great because my laptop got broke in the process, but really good otherwise. I actually had the house to myself this past weekend, and it was great. Friday night, I stayed up until 1 am playing my violin in the dinning room. I never get to play anywhere other than my room, so that was pretty awesome. Then a lot of the excitement happened on Saturday. I invited a friend over, and she wanted to invite another friend, and then I invited someone else. And all of which brought other people to my house. It was a good time. I was grilling cheeseburgers for everyone until like 11 pm. And then we sat outside on the patio until around 3:30am just drinking and talking. We eventually went inside and my new interest and I got to spend some alone time together, while everyone else was watching movies. I didn't go to bed that night. I was up when the sun came up. I eventually got about 2 hours of sleep before taking my laptop to Best Buy to be sent back to Toshiba to get fixed. Later in the day, I got to take a much needed afternoon nap. I just think that it's funny how much more outgoing I become once there is a little alcohol involved. ;-)
almost forgotten 05-29-07 16:17
so I almost forgot that I had this blog. I was talking to a friend the other day and it randomlly came up. Weird? I thought so. And then I logged in and I was surprised when I actually remembered my username and password. :-D
avoiding homework 07-05-06 17:11
yeah, I have two papers that are due on Friday, and I haven't started either one of them... I don't really want to, but I have to... sometime...

I've also found out that the only guy that I have truly loved is with another girl. It is really stupid, cuzz even though we aren't together, I feel as if I got slapped in the face. What is wrose is that I know the girl. I don't see how they would work together. I'm just whining cuzz I want to be the one that is all happy because of a new interest... I want him to me miserable... he's the one that ended it... he should be the one that feels like crap, not me. But I guess that is how life goes and so I'll get over it.
time 04-07-06 13:53
time goes by so fast, I have already gotten three main things done today. I took a test, went to the college of education orientation, then I went to do some volunteer work. Now I'm sittin at home until I have to go to work and then out with some friends. Although, I think that I might be coming home early tonight because I'm really tired and crabby. So I hope that doesn't affect my work night, cuzz that would suck. but I guess I'll just have to see...
sleep? 04-02-06 21:32
maybe I'll try to sleep...
seems like forever 04-02-06 21:30
I tried to go to bed earlier, but I couldn't sleep. I tried to practice the violin... didn't go so well... I got on the computer to see if anyone was on line to talk to and was very disappointed. I was randomly going webpage to webpage hoping something would catch my eye. I was mistaken, then I thought, wow, I have an online journal that I haven't used in ages, I should post something. That will give me something to do during the time that I can't sleep.... So here I am...

Let's see... what's new... I'm half way done with my first degree in music education. I met with my advisor the other day, and I'm well ahead of the other people in my "class." I'm a little nervous about becoming a teacher, but I think that I can do it.-- I'm already looking into where I want to go for my master's degree.

I'm single again. I just can't manage to stay in a decent relationship, any time I get involved with someone, and I think that things are great, they aren't, and then I'm the one that ends up getting hurt. I don't understand. How can things seem perfectly fine one day, and then it just be over the next? At least... it felt that way. It's things like this that make me want to get out of where I am and meet new people. It's like I'm in my own little world, and I am afraid to go outside it. I often think of what I would be doing right now if I hadn't stayed in Omaha to go to school. What if I went to Lincoln, what if I went out of state? I would be forced to make new friends and to be pushed into doing new things. I like my normal routine, but I'm bored with it. This happens from time to time, but it is sooo annoying, cuzz it makes me feel as if I'm wasting away doing nothing with my life eventhough I know that is not completely true. I think that once I get out of college and have my first teaching job, I will be okay cuzz I will be out of my house. I get so sick of living at home. I like it, because I don't have to pay for anything, but I don't like it cuzz I have to put up with all the same crap that I have had to deal with my entire life. I want to get away from that lifestyle, I do not want to end up being like my parents and others in my family. I have made it a long way by myself and living here for as long as I have, but I'm tired. I'm tired of being the perfect one, I'm tired of being the one that does everything right. I'm tired of not being able to make decisions for myself. I'm tired of feeling like I'm confined to my room to have any sort of freedom. When I'm at school, then I can do my own thing. But once I park my car at home, I'm anxious. I wonder what kind of mess I'm coming home to, what new drama has started during the day. I'm just tired. I want to be able to have a decent life, I want to be able to support myself and live the way that I want to. I'm tired of trying to please everyone when it is as if no one supports me in what I'm doing with my life. I'm just trying to make it through this semester. I think that I need to take this summer off, I don't think that I can handle a busy summer like I did last year taking four summer classes, becuase I didn't have a break. I'm burning out from all the stress, the stress of school, work, family and friends. Without those things, I do not know who I would be. The only thing that is missing is a solid, steady, relationship. I thought that I had one, but I was mistaken. I don't understand why I feel that I need to be in a relationship. Perhaps part of it is that my mother and my middle sister were bother married and started having kids by my age, and my oldest sister was in a long term relationship which lead to marriage. I'm the only one in the family that went/is going to a university and is going to graduate in two years. That is just crazy to me. Where did all the time go? I feel like it was yesterday that I was hanging out with my friends and we were all exicted about who was turning 16 so they could drive us all places instead of our parents taking us. And now, my friends are all excited about who is turning 21. Life is confusing, and I'm confused living it. I wish I had a crystal ball that I could see my path to what I'm going to end up doing in life. I don't want an exact detailed map, but a nice outline would be helpful.
finals 12-07-05 19:04
so the semester is almost over, I can't believe it! Where did it go? I have no idea. It's been a long one, but went by quickly. There have been so many things that have been going on that I don't have any time to myself. I really should make more time for myself, but I always have something else to do. I never get a chance to relax. I'm ready for the break. I'm thinking about going to KC over break to play in an orchestra concert thing that my violin teacher told me about. I don't know if I'm gonig to go yet or not, but I'm thinking about it. Well... all I have left to do is a couple projects, juries, and a few finals and then I'm done. I don't even think that I have anything to do on my birthday except for work. Which is cool. I'm not going to tell ppl about my birthday, cuzz I don't want them to make it a big deal, cuzz it's not. I'm only going to be 20. Well anyway... I really should be working on homework, I have to write a piano piece for my final project that I haven't started yet. And I also have to write a theme and variations with piano accomp for my pinao lab class... it's really stupid... darn class... well so yeah... homework time!
it's been months! 11-27-05 18:32
I haven't posted since summer and now it's past Thanksgiving. wow... where did the time go? I'm actually trying to avoid writing a presentation that I have to give tomorrow in my Social Issues class. I'm going to talk about the "One City, One School District" stuff. I have a ton of information, I just need to organize it and figure out what I want to talk about for 5-10 minutes in class tomorrow.

brief overview of the last few months.

band, school, CONCERT MASTER OF HPO!!! WOO! umm... class, work... same old. meeting people in a new light... I think thats it in a nutshell.

well now I really must work on my presentation, becuase I would rather not look like an idiot in class tomorrow.
New job 07-27-05 16:27
so I had a job interview today. It went pretty well, because I have TRAINING TONIGHT! talk about WOO! That made me really happy.
summer is almost over 07-26-05 09:43
Where has it gone? My summertime is lost and gone forever. In less than a month I'll have done completed band camp at UNO and have started my first week of classes! GEEZ! Darn summer school taking up all my time! I'm not really going anywhere this summer. I've just been in the big O the entire time. How boring is that? that's okay cuzz I get to go places for band and I don't have to pay for anything.

I bought a new violin last week. It's really nice! I love it! I should think of a name for it. It is actually a chinese instrument that was made in 2005! And it was only just over $2,000! I couldn't believe it! The sound of it is just amazing. Now all I have to do is call my teacher back up and get in to take somme lessons before my audtion in the middle of August. I decided not to audition for Wind Esemble. I just didn't practice this summer on clarinet. I probably could have made it... but... I just don't want to be overwhelmed with too many esembles.

I have a job interview tomorrow, I'm really excited about that. It's at Schmitt Music! What would be better place for me to work? So HOPEFULLY I get the job, cuzz I really need one. I just don't want to work in a gorcery store or fast food. no offense to anyone that works in one or the other. I think that I would be more usefull helping people decide on instruments and stuff than much else.

Well... that's about all that has been going on with me, bye bye !
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